Confession
I probably should have named my blogg Thoughts - Rants - and Confessions, but oh well. I have a confession to make (don't worry, it won't be as graphic as the last one!)
I realized something about myself. I am not EVER sorry for sinning. I am sorry for the hurt is causes me that's all. When I sin, it usually ends up hurting me or hurting someone I care about (which then in turn hurts me.) That is what I am sorry for...my own hurt. It really doesn't bother me one bit if God is hurt by what I am doing if it's not hurting me. When I think back to the times that I have been sad at hurting God, it's really because I felt that if I hurt him he would turn away from me which would in turn hurt me...so again, it's always been about my hurt. Sin for the sake of being wrong, does not bother me one bit. Hurting, on the other hand bothers me a whole bunch. Gee! Who knew I was such a self-centered person??? Not me until today. Now what? I don't know.
I realized something about myself. I am not EVER sorry for sinning. I am sorry for the hurt is causes me that's all. When I sin, it usually ends up hurting me or hurting someone I care about (which then in turn hurts me.) That is what I am sorry for...my own hurt. It really doesn't bother me one bit if God is hurt by what I am doing if it's not hurting me. When I think back to the times that I have been sad at hurting God, it's really because I felt that if I hurt him he would turn away from me which would in turn hurt me...so again, it's always been about my hurt. Sin for the sake of being wrong, does not bother me one bit. Hurting, on the other hand bothers me a whole bunch. Gee! Who knew I was such a self-centered person??? Not me until today. Now what? I don't know.
posted by Diana at 6:36 AM
17 Comments:
My favorite thing about your blog, Diana, is your self-understanding. Even in this post you are searching your heart - looking for those weeds and thorns. This doesn't make you a narcissist. This is the very qualification you need to share your opinion with others.
When I am tempted I fear I may hurt God, but then I find God is a Fortress which cannot be damaged and the only one who is hurt is me.
What happened to not beating yourself up? Not sorry for sinning? Welcome to the human race..
Maybe our definition of sin is incorrect. Maybe sin isn't doing this or not doing that; I really don't know. Maybe you are more secure in your relationship with God, and you are able to voice your opinion without fear of retribution. Either way, it sounds like you are on the right path!
Maybe our definition of sin is incorrect. Maybe sin isn't doing this or not doing that; I really don't know. Maybe you are more secure in your relationship with God, and you are able to voice your opinion without fear of retribution. Either way, it sounds like you are on the right path!
Maybe our definition of sin is incorrect. Maybe sin isn't doing this or not doing that; I really don't know. Maybe you are more secure in your relationship with God, and you are able to voice your opinion without fear of retribution. Either way, it sounds like you are on the right path!
I guess you felt that point needed repeating! Ha! Just kidding...computers.
I think if any of us were truly sorry for sinning, we'd stop. We may tell ourselves we are sorry but deep down inside if we were sincerely sorry - why would we keep doing the same thing over and over. I don't think you're alone.
What a great "confession," Diana. I wonder how we can do anything other than "sin." (What sin is might be another subject for another day.) I mean, if we could do differently, wouldn't we?
God is Love, and God can't do otherwise b/c that's who God is. God's love is always about God, never about what we do.
Blessings
see diana from indiana.. your not alone after all. barbara makes a good point.
This might fuck with a few peoples theology, but yancey quotes a noice little analogy about sin being like us cutting a rope between us and god. Every time we cut it, God ties it up.
Each knot God makes when we cut the rope brings us that one inch closer to him. Its a bit trite, but I like it.
also, a cistercian( benedictine) monk once said to me, when I was expressing similar perplexity over my inability to live the life I wanted, that its easy to be good, its easy to be bad. What is really hard, is being yourself. Fifty years in a monastery couldnt have been all in vain..
Who will save us from these bodies of death, diana from indiana?
Wow- I appreciate your honesty in this post. I will read more of your writings.
Sooner or later, we all come to face the deepest, darkest truth about our nature and that is beneath all the smiles and good behavior lies a monster in each of us.
The good things I do are not because I'm so genuinely good and selfless, it more for pats on the back. The faithful church attendance isn't as much about being with God as it is to show off my latest pair of shoes and socialize with my friends.
I want to do things because inside I am truly good and Christ-like, not for any selfish motive.
All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Good news is that all have been redeemed and our fallen natures are covered by the perfect life of Christ.
You guys are the most amazing group of people I have ever met. Wow!
Don't you just love Blog Church?
There is not a single sin (not even unbelief) that will ever separate you from His Spirit. Our believing it doesn't make it true. It's true either way.
Just like King David. We all are "SAVED", but we often just loose the JOY OF OUR SALVATION. When we loose the JOY, our ego tells us we need to "get saved" again, as if we can do that.
Unless we sin, we wouldn't know His Grace.
I just love your honesty.
good post.....I like the Yancy word picture.......
Diana- You have become the prototypical example of honesty. I admire you for that. I believe God will honor that. I like what Chaplain Roy said.
"Unless we sin, we wouldn't know His Grace."
"There is not a single sin (not even unbelief) that will ever separate you from His Spirit"
AMEN, and AMEN Chaplain Roy. Diana this is a major, major statement..... If He came to die for all our sins, how could He not die for the sin of unbelief? This is why there will be a restitution of ALL things (read: people, too)unto Him that created ALL. AMEN
I can post comments again...YEAH
I like the idea of a internet confessional - air some of the dirt that just hasn't been filtered out of us - I'm down with it.
I think this attitude about sin is quite accurate - we are, by nature, selfish and there is no 2 ways about that (from an honest look also). I see sin as something that destroys relationships and friendships (personal belief), not something that harms no one - if no one is harmed then what's the harm? If someone is harmed (ex: stolen from, slandered, violence act against them, etc) then this is where 'sin' is - the destroying of relationships between one another and no longer looking out for our and another's best interest.
I guess this also works with the God scenario - there is some kind of relationship that God bridged and we now have some great acceptance by Him - what does he ask? 'Love your neighbor, love God', I think God knows if we do unto others as we do unto ourselves then we are on good ground here - with others and with Him.
Post a Comment
<< Home